Do you ever feel like you’re barely surviving while raising a child with medical complexities? You’re not alone. Join us as we connect with Lily Brown from Parent to Parent USA, a parent herself, who shares her personal journey and the transformative stages of adaptation that often come with this unique role. These stages, as identified and written about in Dr. Nancy Miller’s (PhD, MSW) book Nobody’s Perfect: Living and Growing with Children who have Special Needs, are so very relatable to those seasoned parents of children with medical complexities. For those who are new to the journey, the stages provide context to what you’re experiencing.
We kick things off by diving into the initial stage of ‘surviving.’ Dr. Miller says it best in her book, “being in a state of Surviving doesn’t last forever. It just seems that way at the time.” One NICU mother’s reflection describes it well, “there was so much grief … It was like a death, but no one had died.”
Then comes the ‘searching‘ stage where a parent moves into action, purpose, and the quest for control. Lily shares her insights on transitioning into the ‘settling in’ stage, a calm after the storm where new routines emerge and a different sense of stability is established.
Then comes stage 4: ‘separating.’ Often as parents of children with medical needs, setting them up for successful independence from you comes with added obstacles and even severe limitations. We reflect on the vital role of introducing children into conversations about their medical care and its empowering effect. We emphasize the importance of recognizing our children’s capabilities, fostering their independence, and celebrating small victories in parenting.
We discuss the importance of understanding each stage, how it can offer resounding support, and provide a sense of shared experience that can fast-track bonding between parents on a similar journey. Lastly, we signpost you towards Parent to Parent USA, a resourceful compass for parents navigating similar terrains.
So, tune in, gain insights, and perhaps discover a new perspective on your journey.
For reference:
The Four Stages of Adaptation Are:
1. Surviving
2. Searching
3. Settling In
4. Seperating
